Escort Confidentiality: Does Personal Anonymity Come at a Price?

Escort Confidentiality: Does Personal Anonymity Come at a Price?

It's taken as an unwritten law amongst the vast majority of escorts and escort agencies that nobody should reveal their real names. This is quite often for purely understandable reasons, and Escort Rankings isn't pushing anyone to come out because escorts often have other lives to live, and concerns about how friends and family might react their chosen profession; or, how they might not accept the validity of the reasons for wanting to be a consenting adult who's working as an escort. 

Putting that aside, let's play Devil's Advocate for a minute: while anonymity is a cloak of protection, does it also come at an emotional and psychological price? In effect, and there is no judgement here of escort, being an in the adult entertainment industry can be like the life of a spy. No James Bond here, but this means there is a need to play to roles: the You that people think they know and love, and the 'real You' who's living in a different reality by being a sex worker - one that could possibly be rejected by those who already think they know everything about You. This could also involve work colleagues at a bog-standard 9 to 5 employer, which may not be paying enough to support you. 

Like in espionage, the best way to cover your tracks is to invent cover stories. However, this leaves open that possibility that such clandestine secrecy could be negatively impact you as a person. It's like squeezing a balloon, and seeing the air pushed out of where it is being gripped to expand in other parts of the balloon. Keeping secrets isn't easy for everyone. It can lead to negative emotions, and to decisions being made based on fear rather than on reality. 

Let go of the balloon and the pressure is released, leading to new perspectives, boldness, and a new sense of freedom. This isn't to say it isn't without risk because life is never risk free. Being transparent about what you do as an escort or as an escort agency owner could also have negative as well as positive implications. Each individual has to weigh up what's right for them. 

The act of secrecy 

At present the orthodox view is that anything to do with sex work has to be kept under wraps. In fact, in 2015, April Adams wrote for Vice that the “best insurance' against being caught in a lie is that often, loved ones don't want unpleasant facts.” Her article, 'Sex Workers Talk About the Lies They Tell Their Loved Ones' highlights the challenges of not being upfront about being an escort.

Adams used to tell her dad for a couple of years that she worked as a caterer. She had after all been a line cook until she started escorting. She explains: “So, the story fit my skill set and random hours, as well as my ability to take off for month-long road trips at will. He worked in food when he was younger; we had it in common.” 

“The lie seemed to fly for a while, kind of. But I wasn't sleep deprived, over-worked, or irritable enough. The sheet-tray scars on my forearms lightened and disappeared. Questions became pointed, so I invented extravagant weddings, and then was promoted to manager, at which point I began doing "on-site estimates." That story was thin. I knew it.”

The economy was fragile then - a bit like now when there is a cost-of-living crisis, which Escort Rankings own recent survey found to be a motivator for becoming an escort. What it meant that was that many of his friends' kids went back to their parents' home in droves. This is something she resisted, while admitting that “sex work isn't completely recession-proof, but it's close enough.”

So did the lie work? Not really. She believes money ruined it because her dad is not naïve: “Caterers don't live in Manhattan, unless the passed hors d'oeuvres are blow. I realised that we were both lying; me about what I was doing, he that he didn't think I was full of shit.”

Undercover story revealed

The book 'Call Girl Confidential: An Escort's Secret Life as an Undercover Agent' by Rebecca Kade puts a different spin on anonymity. She writes what is billed as “The jaw-dropping account of an escort who spent years working undercover as a criminal informant.” The book offers insight into her career as an escort, and how as an undercover agent for the Manhattan District Attorney's Office she brought down, “Anna Gristina, the notorious “Soccer Mom Madam,” who allegedly operated a multimillion-dollar escort service with clients from the Forbes billionaires list to Capitol Hill”

Circumstances drew her into become an escort. The synopsis on Goodreads explains: “Strictly raised as a Southern Baptist, Rebecca Kade never dreamed she would compromise her values by someday becoming a high-priced escort. But when her rock star former lover took her to court in a drawn-out custody battle for their daughter, Rebecca's legit day job barely covered her exorbitant legal fees. She needed to make money and lots of it—fast.”

The synopsis argues that Rebecca's classic beauty made her an instant favourite with the host of wealthy, powerful men who were willing to pay thousands to sleep with her. It adds that Rebecca met the world's most influential movers and shakers. Then Kristin Davis, 'The Manhattan Madam' for whom she was working, was arrested. Subsequently, Anna Gristina also found herself within the authorities' radar – despite having gone undetected for 15 years. 

Difficult choices

What choice did all this leave Rebecca herself? She could refuse to co-operate and go to jail. The trouble with this option is that she might have never had the opportunity of seeing her daughter again. The only other option was to comply with the authorities and go undercover for District Attorney's Office. The downside of this choice was that the more incriminating evidence she found, the more she placed herself in danger. She therefore faced tough choices to keep herself and her daughter safe. 

Obviously, the dream for most escorts would be for society to accept them for whom they are and what they do, and for escorting as activity amongst consenting adults to be completely legitimised without any stigma attached to the work they do. To achieve this, escorts have to become campaigners, and that may require some of them to put their heads above the parapet in the way that Chanelle Richmond, aka Redhotrio, did recently by speaking openly to The Daily Star. 

While she says her own family wouldn't like what she does, her attitude to her critics is very much a 'Honey, I don't care!” as she is very proud of whom she is and of what she does. Richmond is also beating the cost-of-living crisis by escorting with the support of her partner. Her thoughts about her work as an escort, and of other escorts, can be exclusively read on Escort Rankings. That aside, relaxing anonymity can come at a price, and have its rewards. Then again, so can maintaining cover. 

Be sure to check out some other Escorting guides: Escorting In Belfast Escorting in Manchester Escorting In Birmingham Or simply browse Escorts In Cities Like London Escorts Belfast Escorts Glasgow Escorts Manchester Escorts

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